So, yeah, I have a confession.
I have a condition that I don’t usually talk about because it is kind of embarrassing. I have trichiasis. I know. I told you it was embarrassing. And, no, this isn’t the first time. I had a bout in November and I fear it is becoming a regular – damn near life threatening – thing with me.
What? You don’t know what trichiasis is? Oh my god, this is so so very embarrassing. Well, I guess I should explain it. I mean, it is probably the root cause (that’ll be funny later in the story) of all of my problems.
I believe it is why I find myself needing to spend so much time with my eyes down, reading or playing Words With Friends. Okay, yes, sometimes also collecting cats in Neko Atsume.
The thing is, I should be writing my thesis but I’ve been procrastinating but now I realize that is most likely because of the embarrassing trichiasis. You see, my laptop is itsy-bitsy so I’ve attached it to an external monitor which – breathe – requires me to look up. Not down. Up.
In fact, what with the embarrassing trichiasis and all, I really can’t work on my thesis. It isn’t that I don’t want to or don’t feel confident that my thesis – aka memoir – will be terrific and lead me down the path towards the bank of gazillionaire writers (another thing so secret you probably didn’t even know that bank existed!) but here I am; suffering and forced to look down at my iPad, book, or the saddest of them all, my idle hands while I daydream of writing my thesis.
Well, now you know. My name is Martina and I have trichiasis.
In layman terms we sometimes call this an ingrown eyelash. The result of this is that it is like I have a minuscule eel, possibly poisonous, wriggling above my regular lashes. Crazy, right? I know, the struggle is real.
Whew, I feel better for getting this off my chest. And, if you must ask, I’ll tell you (although you should mind your own beeswax). I got it because, well, I have eyes – two of them (not actually five like the photo) and I have eyelashes. And, well, sometimes my eyelashes have a mind of their own and try to grow in wonky directions and need to be uprooted (see what I did there, took you right back to earlier reference) and removed.
And that is my story. And since I will be seeing the eye doctor this week and having the excruciating (okay, painless) three-and-a-half minute procedure to get it fixed, I’ll have no more excuses for procrastinating. So I’d better get back to my games while I can. Thesis awaits!